David Letterman’s Top 10 Ways to Break the Ice before Apologizing to His Wife, Regina

David Letterman has been through the wringer since he admitted to sexual relations with members of his staff last week. The following Monday saw his ratings skyrocket (5.7 million), as viewers tuned in to see how the comedian was going to apologize to his wife, staff, and audience members. Was he going to make a serious, heartfelt apology, break down and cry, blubbering all over Paul and his keyboard, or make a joke of the whole thing?

He followed suite with a little bit of all of the above, excluding the blubbering over Paul. What stands to come next is a bit of a mystery. Will his ratings tapper off, remain normal, or will his popularity continue to skyrocket. All we know, is he’s admitted to having his work cut out for him in apologizing to his wife Regina. With that, I’ll leave Dave with just a few suggested one-liners on how to break the ice, before doing some serious apologizing:

10. “How about those Mets?”
9. “You’re mad, aren’t you?”
8. “What can I say, the show really needed a rating boost.”
7. “She said she needed a ride… I gave her a few bonus miles.”
6. “What… and you don’t have any flaws?”
5. “So, you were serious about the being faithful part.”
4. “I’m a sex-o-holic and I need help… they helped me.”
3. “I’ve got two words for you, Bill Clinton.”
2. “I was only trying to help their career.”
1. “Damn, where’s Kanye West when you really need him!”

[Photo via CBS]

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