Bit@$, you can’t touch this for less than $30,000

…unless perhaps you’ve a batch of blond, moderately saggy rear-ends to offer!

MSNBC reports that the former reality star wants no less than $30,000 per appearance. He’ll crash birthdays, pool parties, bar-mitzvahs, weddings… you name it!

Jon may not be selling himself out cheap these days, but he promises to show up, drink your booze, eat your food, and hit on your women! Unfortunately, as rumors go, business has been a bit slow, and he has been forced to call around looking for his own gigs.

“He wanted more than $30,000 dollars to show up for just a couple hours,” said one publicist who was forced to deal with Jon. “The funny part was, we didn’t even reach out to him—He called us asking to come.”

What a Maroon!

[Photos via: thefablife and poponthepop]