October 27th, 2009 
eric 
Colton Harris-Moore has become an international celebrity over the past couple months. While we have heard very little from his side of the camp, we have heard a little too much from everybody else involved.
Here are the top ten stupid things that have been said during the 2009 search for Colton Harris-Moore:
10. “So what? Attila the Hun may have had a high IQ.”
—Yeah Sheriff, and at one time you’re mamma may have been skinny. What’s your point?
9. “Honey, did you spend $3,700 on a laptop, bear pepper spray… and a plane manual?”
—Okay, I’m just kind guessing on this one.
8. “We’re forced to play by the rules and he doesn’t play by the rules.”
—Oh, I see the problem now… he’s just not playing fair.
7. “We haven’t caught him, but neither has anybody else…”
—What the Hell is this supposed to mean. We know we’re losers, but so is everybody else who’s been looking for him, so I guess that makes it okay!
6. “You always get caught eventually.”
—Boy howdy, that’s a confidence builder. Everybody eventually dies too!
5. “If he was smart, he would leave the island and go to Phoenix or go to New York.”
—That’s County Commissioner language for, Get the hell out of here, you’re making us all look like a bunch of damn fools!
4. “He virtually vaporized in front of me.”
—This deputy has spent a few too many times at the Star Trek Convention. You can blame it on the donuts, but vaporization… come on!
3. “I’m proud of him. I was going to send him to flight school. I guess I don’t have to.”
—Mrs. Kohler (mother to Colton) was up for the Mother of the Year award with this quote. That is, until this next two beat it out.
2. “I figure I’ll spend my time with him (my son) in a positive way, because who knows if he’ll be shot tomorrow?”
—That Mother Kohler sure knows how to bring a tear to the crowd.
And the number one stupid quote to come out of the Colton Harris-Moore “Barefoot Burglar” Case…
1. “I hope to hell he stole those airplanes—I would be so proud.”
—Yeah, that’s the day a mother can only dream of, I’m sure!
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His mother should be prosecuted as well. What an idiot.
So, Colton Harris-Moore grew up with a woman who “hope(s) to hell”, which is to say her god is satan?? That has been a problem to him, I’m sure.
And it explains why he has so carefully stayed unavailable to the young women his age: Obviously scared that he’d end up hitched to someone like the one he was forced to be around when he was growing up.
It also helps explain why he has been so careful to play a shy boy’s game of “hide and seek”, a.k.a. “peek-a-boo” with mostly decent and mature men, a.k.a. police: He desperately needs strong, godly, and accepting fathering. And he knows this, I am sure. He is shy, but also intelligent, right?
The taxpayers would have really done well to have paid the police to take the time to take him deep-sea fishing when he was young. If anyone, especially a godly man, had given him a small amount of paid employment helping them weed their vegetable garden, he would be helping us all by this time.
I hope he meets “spiritual Jerusalem, coming down from above, who is the mother of us all”, and starts looking up, not down, for where his life came from!
I also hope he alone gets the money from his books and the movies, etcetera; and of course that he pays all the cost to governments of helping him to slow down, and double all the costs to the people he stole from; and then that he learns to enjoy the extra money, including giving the majority of it away.
He surely can understand how much a little attention, acceptance, and shared time by a godly male can help a young child.